I didn’t know what codependency in a relationship meant until 3 years ago when my therapist described me as codependent. According to Psychology Today, ‘”Codependency” is a term used to describe a relationship in which, by being caring, highly functional, and helpful, one person is said to support, perpetuate, or “enable” a loved one’s irresponsible or destructive behavior.’ Which basically means that you get strung along by your environment or people in your life because your life, feelings, or opinions depend so much on the other persons doings or opinions. This can cause you to become anxious, depressed, unmotivated, feel trapped or suffocated, and even insecure and can quickly turn toxic.
The first step to fighting codependency is being aware, recognizing it and then taking steps to change it. You cannot walk the same path and expect to end up at a different destination.
Do solitary activities
Find things you enjoy doing and do not be afraid to do them by yourself. I like a lot of solitary activities like drawing, painting, writing, etc. and I perform better when I get to do them alone with no distractions. Find something you like to do and immerse yourself in it completely. You get to spend time by yourself while investing in something you love to do. This can mean going for a walk by yourself or taking a yoga class by yourself.
Be independent
You do not need your partner to take you everyday or be with you all day. You do not need his/ her opinion on everything. This kind of circles back to doing solitary activities, but it gets more personal.
Boundaries
Boundaries are important in all relationships; even friendships.
Practice self- care
Be or become your own role model